Thursday, June 12, 2014

How to write a fake essay

A public place and a computer are the two necessary things to write a fake essay. However, everything lies in the body language. It will be advisable to practice this at least once in a bluemoon, so that you will be ogled annoyingly and respected by strangers.

Choose a public place
Why choose a public place? well, its not like you are going to get a boat load of freak followers. The idea lies in pretending. Computer cafes, College computer labs, Coffee shops, and restaurants are some heavenly choices.

Do a little homework
Do not start thinking about the content while you are in a public place. Instead, I will advise you to create a paragraph, using heavy duty, cast iron synonyms, which can even confuse the shit out of those cambridge scums.

Its all about the headline
People probably won't get time to read what you are actually typing. The real goal lies in a catchy headline. Headline should be provocative and attractive. Try to put some thorny words such as abacinate, acutorcian, or diarrhoea. One or two seconds; thats the maximum amount of time you can grab from strangers.

Pretend.. Pretend.. and Pretend
First of all, you need to work on your persona and body language. Try wearing eyeglasses if it helps. Do not let your eyeballs stick hopelessly on boobs and asses around you, unless it is Kim Kardashian.

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